time to detox

I have been crying for a month now and I am ready to let go of all of this. In yoga on Monday we were doing some backbends and the act of opening my heart brought me to tears...it is painful for me to physically open my heart right now. It makes me feel weak and vulnerable. And I realize this is not so much about him (although I was completely vulnerable with him and I feel like he betrayed that), it is about not having a support network here. Joe was correct in interpreting that it is a threshold problem. If I had more close supportive friends hear, I would care so much that I was mistreated by this one. But yoga is about opening back up every time something like this happens...like in balancing postures: you will waiver and fall, but come back to your foundation, your center and open back up, again and again and again.
So now is the time for letting go and not thinking too much about it. So I am doing a physical cleanse in hopes of bringing about an emotional one. Today is day three of khidachi. Tomorrow I move to vegetable juice and then this weekend we will see how I feel at Bhaktifest. I am a little worried that perhaps a full fast may not be the best idea this weekend, however, it may be just the place to do it. I am really looking forward to being surrounded by such wonderful energy and I can't imagine a better place for me to be.I am confident that the kirtan and yoga and good wonderful friends will bring me back to an place where it doesn't hurt to open my heart.