having it all

Having it ALL.



The writers of Greys Anatomy post a blog about this past weeks show every week and I started reading it just to figure out what the hell was going on. In the summary of this season she writes this:

"Bailey's got a lot to contend with next year. She thought she was going to be Chief Resident – she really believed it. After all, the Chief spent the season practically anointing her with Chief Resident oil. But he also spent the season warning her. Because from his own life, he knows what it is to get so caught up in a job that you neglect your family. And he wouldn't wish that on anyone. That is a lesson Bailey's not ready to learn – the fact that there may be a choice between family and career isn't something this generation of women has been raised to believe. It's not something I'm ready to believe. But, like I said, what the women start to see this season is that maybe they may not necessarily be able to have it all. Because maybe having it all has a price. Is it fair that Bailey has to pay this price? Absolutely not. But isn't it ironic that Bailey's got the strong family and (in her mind) a shaky career while Callie's got the solid career and the shaky family life?"



The whole idea of having it all is something I have really struggled with this year (see the PHD comic on my main page), even though I am far from having it all...I still nee dto finish the degree and I am not married so theres no worry of children yet...But I think it is something I want. I have watched many of my female friends in the past few years finish their degrees and start families and start to have to make choices: faculty or family? And I feel like several of them are struggling with this choice and inevitably making choices that sacrifice their career just a bit. One has decided that she definitley does not want to continue in academia, several others are really trying to do it all and yet another is desperatley trying to keep the family and faculty as separate parts of her life. But I love how the Greys writer says "the fact that there may be a choice between family and career isn't something this generation of women has been raised to believe"

We all grew up with a strong generation of women telling us we could do it all, but I wonder how realistic it is? How much have I given up over the years to continue my education? Maybe nothing. Maybe the time just hasn't been right. Maybe it won't ever be right....So maybe I just need to wait for the next deal of the cards.