worrying the future

Is it true that some people can be in a relationship and not worry about the future? Is it possible to let down all of your guards and just be here and enjoy it for what it is right now? This has never been the case for me. Is it b/c I just want to live happily ever after and want to KNOW that is what is in store for me? Why have I never been able to just be here? Why is it such a challenge for me? and why am I so hard on myself?



Patricia sent me this poem several months ago and I think I need to pay special attention to it now:

I will not
die an unlived life.
I will
not live in fear
of falling,
or of catching fire.
I choose to
inhabit my days
To allow my
living to open me
making me
less afraid
more
accessible
To loosen my heart
so that it becomes
a wing, a
torch, a promise.
I choose to
risk my significance.
To live so that
that which came to me
as seed goes to the
next as blossom
and that which came
to me as blossom
goes
on as fruit.


by Dawna Markova