habits

i have no choice but to laugh at myself. It was either that or cry. I have been given a second chance to deal with some tricky emotions and I found myself falling into the same pattern of reactions to those emotions. My mind was judging and making up stories and getting disappointed even though nothing had really happened. I would like to be honest about these feelings but I feel silly. I feel as if I have no right to these feelings, at least not this time. I thought I was ready. I thought I could do this, that it would make things better. And while I feel some sense of relief and I have let go of some things, I have picked up others. I am not ready.



But when you see yourself reacting in a way that you tried so hard for so long to get over, to let go of, falling into the same patterns, there is really no choice but to laugh, because its better than crying.